Anti-bird replacement strategy with advice from Dick Van Dyke

For more info
visit cockatiel.com

So I decided not to take this "being replaced by a bird" thing lying down. (If you have no clue what I'm talking about see "I'm being replaced by a bird".  I figure I can compete with this bird-brain head-to-beak. Perhaps if I could become the "dream husband" she always wanted - the one she thought I was when she married me - then maybe she would take me over the bird. I just need to step it up a notch so that she will see that I am at least as good as any cockatiel.

So, here's my radical new plan:

Monday:  Help wife with dishes.
Tuesday:  Hug wife.
Wednesday:  Take out garbage when reminded by wife.
Thursday: Kiss wife before going to work (Pay attention men - kissing your wife on Thursdays before work is highly recommended. Dick Van Dyke kissed his wife (Mary Tyler Moore) every Thursday on the Dick Van Dyke show.
Friday: Say something complimentary about wife (for example, "Wow, that outfit is a lot nicer than the one you wore yesterday.")
Saturday: Hmmm.  I'll have to think of something.
Sunday:  Don't honk the horn when wife is getting ready for church.

So, tell me what you think.  If you have any recommendations (especially what to do on Saturdays), please use the comment box below.

Hmmm. Perhaps my days are numbered...

You may recall from a previous blog that my 12-year-old let it slip that when I die, Linda plans to replace me with a Conure (parrot).  So I come home for Christmas vacation and guess what I find in the kitchen.  Yep.  Parakeet.

I can see that my days are numbered.  I need to go now, and check on my will...


See also:  I'm Being Replaced by a Bird

Who is the bravest?

Who is the bravest?

Who is the bravest of them all?
The woman who takes a man
to have and hold.

She puts her life into his hands;
Follows him through thick,
when things are thin;

Unsure, when time outlasts
her outer beauty,
if he will yet behold the loveliness within...

Skin deep, love is shallow
like a summer stream
that babbles through the hollow
'til the fall - fair words; what do they really mean?

Will such a shallow turn to ice come winter's freeze?
Though a truly virtuous woman may be rare,
rarer still the man with eyes to see
the virtue there.

And wise his is, though through the day
about his business, here and there he roams,
who nightly will, to find such virtue
turn again to house and home.

© Paul McFate
February 2007