Saturday, January 8, 2011

Anti-bird replacement strategy with advice from Dick Van Dyke

For more info
visit cockatiel.com
So I decided not to take this "being replaced by a bird" thing lying down. (If you have no clue what I'm talking about see "I'm being replaced by a bird".  I figure I can compete with this bird-brain head-to-beak. Perhaps if I could become the "dream husband" she always wanted - the one she thought I was when she married me - then maybe she would take me over the bird. I just need to step it up a notch so that she will see that I am at least as good as any cockatiel.

So, here's my radical new plan:

Monday:  Help wife with dishes.
Tuesday:  Hug wife.
Wednesday:  Take out garbage when reminded by wife.
Thursday: Kiss wife before going to work (Pay attention men - kissing your wife on Thursdays before work is highly recommended. Dick Van Dyke kissed his wife (Mary Tyler Moore) every Thursday on the Dick Van Dyke show.
Friday: Say something complimentary about wife (for example, "Wow, that outfit is a lot nicer than the one you wore yesterday.")
Saturday: Hmmm.  I'll have to think of something.
Sunday:  Don't honk the horn when wife is getting ready for church.

So, tell me what you think.  If you have any recommendations (especially what to do on Saturdays), please use the comment box below.

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